What to Do?

The house is empty. The children are gone. (to Grandma's, of course...) The husband is at work. The teenagers are at his parent's house.

I am ALL alone, (except for four very annoying cats that keep begging me for attention).

I suppose cleaning the house would be the proper thing to do. It needs to be cleaned. I just don't "feel" like cleaning. It's boring.

It really is hard sometimes to decide what to do with so much free time. As a mom, I get so accustomed to the noise and the chaos. When the chaos is gone I feel lost. It's too quiet. There's definitely something (two somethings, actually) missing from my world today.

Well, the practical side does win out a little bit. I've made some progress on the Big Mess, though admittedly not much. I'll soon be skipping over to Wal-Mart for flea treatments for the cats because Angel's cat came home with fleas and now they all have fleas (JOY!).

Beyond that, I'm being lazy today. I slept until nearly 10:00 AM this morning. I would've slept longer if those darned cats had left me alone. Oh well, I needed to get up and make something useful of my day.

How do you spend your free time when you manage to get any? Make sure you have a bit of fun to recharge your batteries.

Prize Winners

Petula
SoccerMom
Liss
Dolls123

First, I would like to apologize for the lengthy delay in awarding your prizes. I am so sorry. I did not mean for it to take me this long. I seriously hope you can forgive my indiscretion.

Second, I need to receive an email from each of you with the following information:

1) The age of the child that your purse is for.

2) Some design options for what you would like on your purse. Please give me a few options on colors and designs.

3) Your full name and mailing address where I can send your prize. (Yes, even to Australia...)

I will do my best to get these out by the end of August. Thank you kindly for your patience and understanding. As I'm sure you are all aware - if you've been reading - my life has been a bit chaotic lately. I look forward to hearing from you and hope you continue to visit my blog and find useful information.

Fifteen Years Ago

I've agreed to take on yet another "About Me" post that I encountered over at It's a Woman's World. My Pet loves to read about me, particularly since it happens so rarely that I dedicate a post to talking about me.

The idea of this post is to talk about what was going on in my life fifteen years ago. The rules: Talk about anything, but only up to TEN things.

I would like to say that the title immediately reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Fifteen Years Ago" by Conway Twitty. As I sit here writing, I can hear those lyrics playing in my mind. I just can't help it. Oh the memories...

The year was 1993 and I was just turning 19. Here is the list of important - or not so important - events in my life.

1) I was working for a plastic factory in Woodstock, GA. We made all sorts of plastic items. Exit signs were my specialty. If you see an Exit Sign that is over 15 years old, it is quite possible that I made it.

2) I met Steve, got pregnant, and got married. That lasted for two very long, very miserable years. Well, the marriage did - the pregnancy didn't last quite that long. So thankful that I am not an elephant...

3) I started college in August that year. I was only going part time because I had to pay out-of-pocket for the expenses and had no help from my parents. I was living on my own and making ends meet was difficult, to say the least.

4) I lived in a trailor with only two bedrooms that were usable because the very back bedroom was a disaster that may well have rivaled Hurrican Katrina.

5) I was stretching my food budget by cutting a single piece of chicken into tiny bits and mixing it with rice or pasta to make it seem like dinner was far more extravagant than it really was.

6) I was driving a 1977 Toyota Celica. I hit a drunk driver in a Trans Am when she pulled out in front of me less than a car's length away. Luckily there was nobody on the other side of the road or I would've had to hit her directly in the driver side door. I doubt either of us would have left that accident in one piece if there had been other cars coming. I totalled my car and the one she was driving. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and she was underage. My teeth still ache sometimes from where I hit the steering wheel with my face.

7) That year was the worst (best) snow storm we ever had here in my lifetime. Near the end of March we were hit by "The Blizzard." I ended up spending an entire weekend at my Dad's house because I wasn't able to get home due to the storm. That was so incredibly NOT fun. But the 2 feet of snow was really cool.

That really is all I can recall at the moment. So many years ago...

It amazes me to see just how far I've come in my life and how much I've changed. I hope you've enjoyed this walk down my Memory Lane.

The Gifts We Give

This year, as school is beginning for us here in the USA, I would like to provide a bit of wisdom with regards to purchasing gifts for your child's teacher. Many parents feel that this is a great way to thank their child's teacher for doing a good job. If you wish to gift your child's teacher in a way that will be useful and appreciated, but feel that chocolate and perfume are a bit overdone, here is an idea that can be used for any holiday or occasion and for any grade level.

Start by purchasing a suitable container that can be reused in the classroom. Plastic shoe boxes or pencil boxes are always great. Decorative baskets can be good, too.

Then choose a selection of supplies that you know will be useful to the recipient. A list of ideas will be included below to get you start.

You may think this is far too impersonal for a gift, or far too practical. However, consider that teachers are rarely provided all the supplies they need by the school they work for and often pay for their classroom supplies out of pocket. Some states do provide a stipend for supplies, but that stipend is rarely more than $150.00 to provide for the entire year of necessities.

Also, teachers are accustomed to receiving chocolate, apples, and other things in such quantities that they are probably overburdened with these things. Something different would not only surprise the teacher, but would also be appreciated - because while chocolate is wonderful, there really is only so much chocolate that a person can eat.

Now, for those promised ideas... Some are obvious, but others may not have occurred to you as a needed item for the classroom.

1) Pens - various colors
2) Pencils
3) Electric pencil sharpener
4) Highlighters
5) Dry erase markers
6) Sharpies
7) Paper
8) Binders
9) Post-It notes
10) Paper clips
11) Binder clips
12) Stapler
13) Staples
14) Stickers for graded papers
15) Stamps and ink pads for graded papers
16) Books to keep in the classroom - particularly for lower levels
17) Chalk
18) Art supplies - crayons, color pencils, markers, glue, buttons, etc
19) Gift certificates to teacher supply stores or dollar stores, etc.
20) Batteries - AAA and AA always a good idea

Video Games

I'm so excited about this new discovery. I never realized there were video games that were geared to the younger set. However, I visited my home away from home the other day and found this cool collection of games for children ages 3 and up. They have hand held game sets for $10 to $20 and a few joystick type sets that plug into the TV to play for less than $20. Some are educational and some are just for fun.

Now you're probably thinking that I have lost my mind, but really I haven't. I love video games. I think playing video games can be really good for kids. First, kids can learn perseverence through playing a game that takes time and patience to complete. Second, kids can improve their hand-eye coordination skills. Third, kids can improve their focusing skills. Add to the list that many games are now educational in nature and you have an all around wonderful way for kids to pass time.

Of course, playing video games for several hours a day on every day that ends in "Y" is not advisable.

For me, this new discovery has come at the most opportune time. Kira's birthday party will be August 30th because she'll be in the hospital (or just getting home) on her actual birthday. Then, with her in a cast for an extended period of time, there won't be much to do but hang out on the couch all day watching TV and / or playing video games. Well, I had thought that playing video games would not be a viable option for her until I found that there are games intended for kids her age.

I notified all the proper people --- can you say Grandma --- of this new discovery, and I'm certain that Kira's birthday packages will contain a video game or two for her to master during her stint on the couch.

Maybe she'll even let me play......

Life Does Go On

I feel that it is important to teach my children that no matter what life may throw our way, life will go on. In an effort to do just that, I am currently planning to go on a trip in November. The trip was planned before THE NEWS arrived, so it would be conceivable that cancelling the trip might be prudent. However, Kira's doctor has assured me that she can still travel, albeit it in a body cast. Travelling will definitely be more complicated for me, but for her it will show her that bumps in the road do not have to change everything. You can still get out and enjoy life even if you are held back by circumstances.

Find ways to show your children that you may encounter problems and still accomplish the things you want to accomplish. Let them know that it's okay to keep moving forward and life doesn't stop just because issues may arise.

How Cool!

I found this website that provides a thorough explanation of a study technique that I have never heard of.

The Lietner System is a system of using flashcards to learn with a set method of rotation.

In honor of the pending start of school, I thought I would share this so you can teach this method to your child. It can be very helpful with spelling, vocabulary and languages.

The basic principle is this:

A container called a cardbox or a cardfile is set up to hold the flashcards. It is divided into multiple individual compartments. FlashcardDB calls the groups of flashcards in each compartment decks.

All flashcards start in deck 1.

When the material on a flashcard is recalled correctly it is moved forward by one deck. (See the green arrows in the diagram above). If the flashcard was already in the last deck then it remains there.

When the material on a flashcard is not recalled it is returned to deck 1: regardless of what deck the flashcard came from. (See the merged red arrow(s) in the diagram).

Each subsequent deck has a longer period of time before the flashcards it contains must be repeated.

FlashcardDB’s default settings are:

DeckNumber --- Time until next repetition

One --- None
Two --- 1 day
Three --- 3 days
Four --- 1 week
Five --- 1 month

Back to School

It's that wonderful time of year, again - at least if you live in the USA. Time to hit the stores and buy all the new supplies and new clothes for school. I have a few small tips for you to make back to school a bit easier for your child. No, they are not the "normal" tips that every magazine in the country is running this month. My tips are special.

1) If at all possible, spring for the good stuff. Yes, I know it is less expensive to get the plain binders and notebooks. However, for a few dollars more you can let your child pick something special that will make her appreciate the drudgery of school a bit more. If you can't splurge for all the extras, pick just one or two items to splurge on. Get the really cool pencils or binders. I always hated that I was never allowed to have the cute folders and notebooks. Such a tiny thing can make a difference. Knowing that you feel they are worth the extra expense really makes a child feel special.

2) Don't make a whole day of shopping. While it may seem like fun at first, the frustration will make everybody cranky and moody. The crowds won't help, either. So try to break your shopping into pieces. Go clothes shopping at one or two stores that are close by and then be done for the day. The next day, go get the supplies wherever it is you shop for these things. Try to shop very early or in the mid-day when others are leaving for the day. Avoiding the crowds will save a lot of hassle and frustration. If you plan carefully, you can manage to stretch your shopping out over two weeks and you'll appreciate the calm of it all if you do.

3) Talk to your kids about their thoughts and expectations for the coming year. Talk about whatever issues you feel need to be discussed - drugs, smoking, sex, etc. This is a good time to approach tough subjects, though I do recommend discussing all these topis early and often in your child's life.

When the News is Not Good...

We just found out today that Kira will need hip surgery on both hips. Both of her hips are completely dislocated. The term, I believe, is dysplasia. This is usually an issue that the child is born with and usually noticed early. However, the fact that both hips are behaving the same made it difficult to be diagnosed by a non-specialist. We chose to take her to an orthopaedic specialist because she "walks funny" and certain people (Grandmas...) felt that it was of concern. Mom felt that it was just no big deal and she would grow out of it. Mom was WRONG and now feels horribl guilty about the several months of procrastination that may have caused this to be more difficult than it should have.

Processing this new information is quite difficult at the moment. I doubt I'm the best qualified for giving any advice on how to deal with things when the news is not good.

So, what am I doing now?

1) Research - I'm reading what I can about this problem and its causes and treatments. I'm trying to figure out as much as possible about what type of cast will be required and what type of mobility issues will be presented to us.

2) Support - I'm rallying my support base to help me through this. My "Grandmas," my friends, my husband - I recognize how incredibly valuable they will be to me and Kira while we struggle through months of virtual immobility due to a body cast and months of maternal insanity due to that same body cast.

3) Putting on the smile - I have to get past my pity party now so that I can be strong for Kira later.

4) Making a list - Of course the doctor was kind enough to ask us if there were any questions immediately after he informed us of what needed to be done. Unfortunately, due to the traumatic shock that my brain had just endured, there were few questions that came to mind. (Can I be in the OR with her? --- um NO! / How long will the surgery take? --- An eternity for you the parents. Three hours for me the doctor. / How long will we have to be at the hospital? --- 24 hours. )

Now that I'm a bit more calm, I'm making a more thorough list of questions that I need to ask. Why is it that they always ask us if we have questions when we are paralyzed and unable to think clearly enough to form any of those questions?

5) Scheduling - I don't know when the surgery is just yet, but I know there will be many things that need to be dealt with before and after that day. I'm already starting to work out my system of how to deal with all this.

**Please note: There may be a bit of extra "filler" filling my pages in the next few days. Or there may be nothing at all, depending on how quickly this all comes together. I'm hoping for the soonest date because that gives me far less time to stress over the inevitable.**

Muffins

Did you know that muffins are incredibly easy to make and are guaranteed to put a smile on the faces of everybody in the house?

There's nothing like fresh, warm muffins with a bit of butter to make the start of your day brighter. Try out several different varieties to see what the favorites are. Around here, the favorites are as different as the kids.

Gibson - Blueberry

Kira - Chocolate Chip

Marisa - ALL OF THEM

Angel - Wild Berry

Randall - Blueberry

Me - I like Strawberry

Mom, Can I Keep Him?

There will come a day in the life of every parent when their child shows up on the doorstep with some critter, looking cute and adorable and inquiring with great hope in their eyes - "Mom, can I keep him? Please."

An intelligent parent will be well prepared for this inevitable occurrence. Know ahead of time what you are willing to keep and what you are not willing to keep.

For me, snakes are absolutely out of the question. Dogs, are too, but only because our lifestyle just does not allow for the kind of space and care that a dog would need.

I have, however, discovered that accomodating a fairly young little box turtle is well within my range. Said turtle came to live with us just yesterday and already has the best house on the block. Her name is Miss Leafy Leigh, presumably because she likes to eat leaves but you'll have to ask Kira about that one. I just nod and smile.

This adorable little creature fits in the palm of my hand and can move really quite fast considering that she is a turtle and all. She enjoys getting out on the carpet and crawling around (and burrowing under my leg) while the girls giggle uncontrollably at the antics of Miss Leafy Leigh. Of course, we are guessing that she is a girl, as none of us are fully trained in the markings of turtles.

Grandma Janet is to blame for this sudden gifting of a turtle. When she brought the girls home yesterday, the turtle came along for the ride. It seems that Miss Leafy Leighs previous home has been invaded by a very determined little dog who seems to think Miss Leafy Leigh is either food or a toy.

Kira has had this same turtle living in Grandma Janet's back yard for over a year now, so she was not willing to tolerate the invasion of Toby the Terror on her prescious little turtle. Grandma's only solution was to let Kira bring the turtle home in hopes that Mommy and Daddy would be willing to accomodate this new addition to the family.

I can honestly say that Randall took this development quite well. He did dare to ask me if Miss Leafy Leigh would be staying for just a few days to enjoy the learning experience or if this was a permanant addition. When I told him she had already had said turtle for a year, he exclaimed that she had only had the turtle for one day. Poor Daddy did not realize that Miss Leafy Leigh had been living at Grandma's house for so long. When I enlightened him, he resigned himself to life with a turtle and proclaimed that we must go to the store to acquire a proper home for her instead of leaving her in a plastic container barely big enough to crawl around in.

Thus began our adventure...and now Miss Leafy Leigh is the envy of all the neighborhood turtles, especially the ones stuck living in the pond down the road instead of in a cozy little habitat such as hers.

Mommy, can I keep him? INDEED!

I Haven't Forgotten

Just so you know, I have not forgotten about my give away. I'll send out emails this week for the proper information.

I'm Climbing

I'm climbing, Mommy. Those words are favorites around here these days. Marisa is definitely a climber. She climbs on chairs, tables, sofas, beds - just about any furniture she can get hold of. In an effort to allow her to climb and make it safe, I've come up with a few ideas.

1) I take as many pillows and sofa cushions as I can find and pile them up in the floor as a "jungle gym."

2) I encourage climbing on the side of the sofa so she can "fall" onto the soft part of the sofa. She relishes the thrill of falling. This keeps me sane because I know she won't get hurt, and I'm not trying to prevent her from doing what she naturally loves to do.

3) Obstacle courses are awesome outlets for little climbers. Using small chairs, the ironing board laid on its side, the previously mentioned cushions, and other suitable materials, I build an obstacle course in the living room and let her run herself out.

I don't want to squash her natural adventure seeking nature, so I provide her with plenty of safe opportunities to experience the excitement and thrill she so desperately loves.

After all, her favorite words are "I'm climbing, Mommy." She always says that with such mischief in her voice as if she thinks she's getting away with something.

The Plight of the Berries

It appears that one of the best summer rituals may be coming to an end. Picking wild berries has always been a wonderful day to spend entire days of summer. Unfortunately, the berries are disappearing.

Today, Randall and I struck out on an adventure of picking blackberries. He had visions of homemade cobbler dancing around while I just had visions of a shower on the horizon. We've been waiting for the right time to go berry picking. There are tons of bushes near our house where berries are free for the taking, so we just knew that we would be coming home with a bucket full of berries.

Now, when I was a kid, picking (and eating) blackberries was just something that we always did during the summer. We might even manage to bring some of our berries home for my step-mother to use in the kitchen. I know how blackberries are supposed to look and taste when picked from wild bushes that have been left to grow as they please. They are supposed to be plump and juicy, smelling of sweetness that only a wild berry can offer. This is what we wanted to find today on our hike through the woods.

This is NOT what we found. What we came across today was acres of blackberry bushes with pitiful offerings of minuscule berries that were mostly dry and hard from lack of water. The fields were covered in drought ridden fruits that could barely even be considered a berry considering how sad and depleted they were.

We had expected to come home with a bucket full of plump, juicy berries ready to be baked into a luscious cobbler. What we have is about 3 cups of mostly hard and dry berries that have to be soaked in sugar water before we can even consider baking them into a merely adequate cobbler just for the sake of saying there was, indeed, a cobbler.

After our trek into the wilds here, I decided to stop by my mother's house for a few more berries. I was in the area anyways, and there are always nice berries on her bushes because they are shaded from the scorching sun.

Yeah - right! Her bushes were no better than those in our wild woods here. There was barely a hand full of berries to be had, not even a half a cup. Of course, hers were sweeter and a bit juicier, but they were so tiny. Marisa did not seem to mind the size of these berries. Upon seeing them, she readily gobbled them up before I could even consider baking them into that previously mentioned cobbler, not that it matters. There were so few of them that the cobbler really will not notice they are missing.

This day has left me wondering what is to become of the skill of berry picking. Is picking of berries to be relegated to the neat and cultured farms where you arrive with buckets in hand and pay the nice people to let you roam their tailored fields and pick their berries that have been perfectly watered and manicured for optimal appearance? Will the wild berries forever fade away into the memories of a lengthy drought?

I, for one, hope that the berries are not truly disappearing from the wild landscapes of my home town. While picking berries is no longer one of my personal favorites, I do want my children to experience the sheer pleasure of picking those ripe berries and popping a few into their mouths while they think nobody is watching.

I also hope that they get to see just how excited their father gets over a bush full of plump and juicy (or even not so juicy) blackberries. He's a big kid at heart and had so much fun tromping through the briers and brambles to conquer the bushes and take even the most piteous of their treasures. And, yes, I even caught him throwing a few of those berries into his mouth when he thought nobody was watching.

The Invisible Woman

I came across this today stumbling on the internet. I've found a new hobby in stumbling - www.stumbleupon.com - and have encountered many things that I never knew were "out there."

This was encountered at Mamablogga, and I couldn't possibly pass by without sharing. I need to share this with you because there are many days when I feel invisible and fail to appreciate my own worth. I know I am not the only mother who feels this way. I struggle with many obstacles and self-doubt, particularly with regards to my son who does not actually live with me and is raised mostly by his grandmother - more his choice than mine, but definitely what is best for him. So here I see that perhaps I am building a great thing. It takes more than one worker to build an amazing cathedral. I suppose it also takes more than one mother to build an amazing child.


-------------------------------

It started to happen gradually.

One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, “Who is that with you, young fella?”

“Nobody,” he shrugged.

Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, “Oh my goodness, nobody?”

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family like, “Turn the TV down, please,” and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, “Would someone turn the TV down?” Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We’d been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, “I’m ready to go when you are.” He just kept right on talking. I’m invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?”

I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum ma cum laud - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She’s going¸ she’s going¸ she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.”

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read—no, devour—the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals—we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”

And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Fourth

I hope you all have a happy Fourth of July (USA) and enjoy your holiday. Be safe. Fireworks and sparklers are lots of fun, but can be very dangerous.
Be careful while you play.

New in the News

This article details some very important advances in medical news. You may have missed this because they were not highly advertised.

Important News You May Have Missed

I hope you enjoy reading this informative article and learning more about the advances of medical science.

Play a little Blue's Clues

You can create your own game of clues by setting up a puzzle to solve and clues to be found in order to solve the puzzle. The game can be as elaborate or as simple as you like.

One good way to do this is by setting up the first "clue" in the bathroom so that your child will see it first thing in the morning. Then arrange your day in such a way as to find clues along the way of what you will normally be doing.

Be sure to gear your clues and puzzle to the proper age of your child so your child won't get frustrated.

Your child will enjoy the game and the effort that you put forth in making their day more fun.