Girls' Clothing

I was walking through the mall a couple of weeks ago in an effort to log in some walking time in the midst of the winter cold. It's been a while, really, since I spent any time at the mall. It isn't a place I tend to hang out at now that I'm older. (Go figure... The mall used to be the greatest place on the planet.)

While I was walking around, I enjoyed a bit of browsing. Kira loves pretty dresses so I spent a bit of time looking at all the dresses and making choices based on what I know she likes. It was fun to "buy" her all those dresses even though new dresses are not needed at this time.

Well, I also became aware of the other clothing that was available. I have to say, I was stunned to see some of the outfits that are currently on the market for young girls. The clothes that are being offered right now are - ahem - trashy. (I'm not even sure that word covers what I saw, but it's the best I've got.)

If the outfits in question were targeted to the tween/teen set, I would at least be able to comprehend the reasoning behind the styles. Teens often have their own money to spend and get the privilege of shopping without their parents nearby to offer approval. That was not the case, though. These outfits that so amazed me were for the younger set. These were clothes that are targeted at girls that are 4 yrs to 9 yrs of age. It was horrifying what these stylist want me to buy for my young girls to wear.

I was reminded of a trip to Pottery Barn Kids as I scanned the racks of age inappropriate outfits. When Kira was a mere baby, Randall and I wandered into a Pottery Barn Kids store to see the furniture and look at the baby items. There was a clothing rack near the back of the store. Prominently displayed was an outfit that looked like it was designed off the streets of Atlanta. There was a black "leather" bustier with metal buttons and a pair of black "leather" leggings. Nearby on a shelf was a pair of thigh high "leather" boots to match this ensemble. The outfit itself might be okay for a night out at the club (if you plan to be going to a swingers club...). That wasn't the intent, though.

This outfit was in size 2T (and 3T and 4T). 

Yep - you read that right. There on the rack was a complete street wear ensemble for TODDLERS. It was horrifying. (Not to mention that the entire outfit was nearly $100.00, which is just a bit much for any outfit purchased for a young child.) I couldn't believe that there were parents who would actually put their young girls in an outfit of this nature. Obviously, somebody out there would buy this sort of thing for their children or it wouldn't be such a popular line in the fashion industry. I just don't get it...

Five years later and few things have changed. The market is still saturated with clothing that looks like it would be better suited to the night streets of Atlanta than to the body of my five year old child. What message does this type of clothing send to our children?

Better yet, what message does this type of clothing send to those who might be looking at our children?

Why would any parent want their 5 year old daughter to be dressed "sexy" for the world to see? Do they not understand the inherent dangers of portraying their young children as sex objects? Would you want your young daughter to learn that she should dress in this way?

I can guarantee that these are not the types of outfits that I will buy for my girls. Not now. Not ten years from now.

Sometimes addiction is a good thing

I confess to not understanding the widespread hatred for Harry Potter and Twilight from people who have not actually read the books.

What is it about popular juvenile fiction that engenders such extreme emotion on the part of non-fans?

It all makes perfect sense if you actually read it - then you will know for sure if you love, like, dislike, hate or want to burn the books.

I've read all of the Harry Potter books, and enjoyed them all. JK Rowling is an excellent story-teller and spins a fine yarn that gets progressively darker and more convoluted as the characters age and delve deeper into the mysteries of the world she has built.

From the very little I’ve read of the Twilight books, Stephanie Meyer is a less technically accomplished writer and her story is a fairly shallow romance/urban fantasy story with a very specific target audience – young teenage girls. This is not a bad thing, it just isn’t the type of story I can get interested in reading. I certainly don’t hate it or look down on people who are fans.

What is truly great about both of these series, however, is that they have young people reading them - in very large droves. Almost anything that gets kids reading is a good thing, IMO. Once kids get hooked on reading, they will branch out and read in a much broader area.

You shouldn't stress over whether the characters in the book are good role models for your kids. Your children are actually capable of understanding the difference between pretend and reality – no matter how much they pretend to be Hermione or Edward or Superman or Ariel or whatever, they know that it is pretend and that they aren’t really a witch or vampire or alien or mermaid.

Get your kids reading – even if what they are reading isn’t what you yourself prefer. Reading is the key to the world – a person who reads well and comprehends what he reads can learn anything. And the most important lesson he will learn is to think for himself, to dig into something that is worth knowing, and to always be trying to learn more and more.

Here are some books and series for kids and juveniles that are worth reading – you may not like them yourself and may even strongly disagree with some of the messages that are presented, but your kids may well learn to love reading through these books:

Bobbsey Twins by Laura Lee Hope (pseudonym for many BT authors)
Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene (pseudonym for many ND authors)
Encyclopedia Brown by Donald Sobol
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein
Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein
His Dark Materiels by Phillip Pullman
Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (pseudonym for Daniel Handler)
The Hardy Boys by Franklin W. Dixon (pseudonym for many HB authors)
Podkayne of Mars by Robert Heinlein
Tunnel in the Sky by Robert Heinlein
Lucky Starr series by Paul French (pseudonym for Isaac Asimov)
Norby Chronicles by Isaac and Janet Asimov


This is just a short list off the top of my head, and it includes only fiction in the genres of mystery, fantasy and science fiction. These came first to mind, I suppose, because they are well-known and already very popular with young readers. While there are hundreds of thousands of fine books (both fiction and non-fiction) for young readers, I think that these kinds of stories are the best gateways because they grab the kids and bring them into the adventures and lives of the characters and make them want more and more.

Sometimes, addiction is a good thing.

Helpful Tips: Tweens

By request, I shall delve into the world of parenting the older kids.

From this site, I found the following interesting information.


(Be sure to read both lists. It is not a misprint.)

Helpful Tips for Parenting Teenagers

The teenage years offer many stresses for the family system. Adolescents often challenge the rules and boundaries of the family system while they are engaged in seeking their own identities. At this same time, parents have their own issues such as confronting their own mortality in the form of a mid-life crisis and possibly dealing with their own aging parents. This creates a turbulent time for a parent in balancing the adult issues with the developmental crises of their adolescent children. The following are some key points to keep in mind as you work through this time.

What To do:

1.Provide and maintain clear boundaries and limits.
Use discussion and negotiation rather than arguments.
Realize some conflict is unavoidable.
Be flexible with rules and roles.

2. Exemplify the attributes you wish your adolescent to emulate.
Behavior must be consistent with words

3. Provide positive reinforcement on a daily basis for something, even if seemingly insignificant

4. Spend time with your adolescent daily.

5. Educate yourself about issues facing adolescents today.
Read books, articles
Communicate with professionals as needed

6. Recognize warning signs of problematic behavior.
Alcohol Drugs
Depression
Eating Disorders
Gang Involvement

Recognizing:

Eating Disorders
Refusal to eat enough to maintain body weight.
Fear of becoming fat, even when clearly underweight.
Abnormal body image.
Absence of menstruation in young women for a period of 3 consecutive months.
Compulsive behavior with regards to exercise.

Chemical Dependency
Making new friends and abandoning old ones. Poor grades - decreasing - suspensions
Behavior problems (i.e. lying, running away)
Isolation from family members.

Gang Activity
Changes in clothing and Jewelry.
Changes in Behavior.
Changes in Friends.
Changes in finances.

Depression
Change in mood, behavior.
Change in eating.
Change in sleeping.

Change in academic performance.
Change in grooming.

Always provide and maintain open lines of communication!

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Now for Mom's version.

Helpful Tips for Parenting Teenagers

The teenage years offer many stresses for the family system. Adolescents often challenge the rules and boundaries of the family system while they are engaged in seeking their own identities. At this same time, parents have their own issues such as confronting their own mortality in the form of a mid-life crisis and possibly dealing with their own aging parents. This creates a turbulent time for a parent in balancing the adult issues with the developmental crises of their adolescent children. The following are some key points to keep in mind as you work through this time.

What To do:

1.Provide and maintain clear boundaries and limits.
Use discussion and negotiation rather than arguments.
Realize some conflict is unavoidable.
Be flexible with rules and roles.

Oh yeah! Let ME set my own rules and my own consequences. Be sure to be flexible when I'm telling you what my expectations are, after all - consistency is not what I'm after. I really want what I want when I want it, regardless of what possible side effects may come my way.

2. Exemplify the attributes you wish your adolescent to emulate.
Behavior must be consistent with words.

Definitely! I'm going to act JUST LIKE YOU! After all, I love and adore everything you do. (**insert eye rolls here**)

3. Provide positive reinforcement on a daily basis for something, even if seemingly insignificant.

Praise me! Praise me! Praise me! For I am wonderful and amazing. The world does revolve around me. Just ask me...

4. Spend time with your adolescent daily.

You want me to spend TIME with YOU! Are YOU kidding ME. Well, okay, but only if we stay home and none of my friends see us together and you never tell a soul and DON'T expect me to ENJOY it.

5. Educate yourself about issues facing adolescents today.
Read books, articles and other resources.

Communicate with professionals as needed.

Check out Mom's Site daily.

Mom. Stop trying to behave like my friends. It's just gross when you dress like us, sing like us, dance like us, play like us, etc. etc. etc.

6. Recognize warning signs of problematic behavior.
Alcohol Drugs
Depression
Eating Disorders
Gang Involvement

Recognizing: **Okay, I'm only going to comment on a couple of these because I feel that most of this information is very serious and should not be taken lightly. There are some concepts here, though, that bear consideration.

Eating Disorders
Refusal to eat enough to maintain body weight.
Fear of becoming fat, even when clearly underweight.
Abnormal body image.
Absence of menstruation in young women for a period of 3 consecutive months.
Compulsive behavior with regards to exercise.

Chemical Dependency
Making new friends and abandoning old ones. Poor grades - decreasing - suspensions
Behavior problems (i.e. lying, running away)
Isolation from family members.

Gang Activity
Changes in clothing and Jewelry. What I wore yesterday just won't do for today. It's not in style anymore. It's just not good enough.
Changes in Behavior. MOOD SWINGS!!!
Changes in Friends. Can you say D-R-A-M-A. (and gossip and backbiting and did we mention mood swings?)
Changes in finances. This age range has finances.... Yeah - Mom, I need money. Mom, I need more money. Mom ---- can I PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE have some money...

Depression
Change in mood, behavior. MOOD SWINGS
Change in eating. MOOD SWINGS
Change in sleeping. UM - MOOD SWINGS

Change in academic performance. THE WORK IS HARDER, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
Change in grooming. DID WE MENTION THE WHOLE HORMONAL MOOD SWINGS THING?

Always provide and maintain open lines of communication! Yelling does not count as communicating.