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Saturday, December 19, 2009

I trust them

A couple of days ago The girl (my 15yr old daughter) announced she was going out with her girlfriends and heading over to the local Starbucks. I asked her if she had any money when she told me she had a bit of change. So I directed her to take $5.00 out of my wallet.

This is when my MIL just about lost it ~ The conversation then went something like this;

MIL ~ you let her just go in your purse and wallet and take money?
SM ~ yes, I trust that she will take what I tell her to
MIL ~ what if you didn't have a $5.00
SM ~ then I am sure she would have told me and not taken anything at all
MIL ~ her friends were waiting, are you sure she would have just left with the change she had.
SM ~ yes

Yes, I trust both of my kids to go into my purse or wallet.

I was taken back that my mother-in-law found it strange that I would allow my kids to go through my stuff. I have nothing to hide and I trust them. I don't understand why she would have found it wrong for me to allow the kids to go into my purse. I have built an amazing trusting relationship with both of my kids that I started from the time both of them were quite young.

Do you allow your kids to go in your purse or wallet?
If you do ~ Do you trust your kids enough to take what you tell them to or to take nothing at all?
If you don't ~ Why don't you allow it?

But most importantly ~ Do you think there is such a thing as too much trust?

Contributed by; The Mind of a Mom


Mom said...

I see nothing at all wrong with allowing your child to go into your purse under your direction. I don't generally let my kids go into my purse, but that's because they prowl.

carol at A Second Cup said...

I like my kids take specific mounts out of my wallet if I am busy. You could have smiled and asked her" Sowhat is in your wallet?" Or not.

Jen said...

Being broke (in perpetuity :o) I don't think I have much to lose by letting my daughter go and get money out of my wallet, which I do whenever it is necessary.
However, she absolutely may not just help herself; I expect her to ask for permission first. I feel strongly that children should know to respect privacy as well as other people's things, don't you?
Anyway, wouldn't you know if she took more than you told her to? Methinks MIL worries a little too much :o)

Brandy said...

I see nothing wrong with that fact that you allow your child to take a $5 out of your wallet, appears you both have trust.

Myself, I don't have teens yet and I must say I don't think I would personally allow them into my wallet. This is stemming from the fact that I watch as my younger sister (an adult age 24) to this day steals money from my mother and I watch as my mother still trusts her enough to have her live in her home and my mom still leaves money hanging around wherever. I guess my children are nothing like my sister, I hope, but at the same time that trust was lost watching my sister with my mom and so I think my purse will be my private area not to be touched by another.

I could be wrong and change my mind as my children grow older but this is where I stand at this moment in time ...

The Mind of a Mom said...

Hi Mom
She is good about not prowling unless it is for gifts for Christmas or Birthdays :o)

Hi Carol
I love those commercials!

Hi Jen
My girl will ask or I will offer she has never just gone and taken I think that comes from doing this from the time the kids were young.

Hi Brandy
You are right you need to trust that your kid will not be like your sister. You need to break the cycle.
Start out with them getting a receipt or something small like that and work your way up. At first they will be fascinated with the id and credit cards but after a while they loose interest and it is just mom's stuff.

Petula said...

I don't see anything wrong with it. I allow my oldest daughter to do that as well. If I didn't have a five she would tell me or ask if she could just bring my change back. The only thing I've had a "problem" with is her getting my debit cards, with permission, and then her not putting it back so when I go out I don't have access to my own money! That's pretty frustrating. LOL

Now the younger ones aren't that trustworthy. I let them do things like go in my room to get something, but they sometimes get into or mess with things that they shouldn't. I'm still trying to get that across to them. I'm hoping that as they get older I can trust them.

Grace said...

I don't see anything wrong with letting my kids go into my wallet. I trust them fully. They don't get anything without asking. They would even give me their own money.

Website design said...

Thanks for the post.Well my mom also doesn't like the idea of going in her purse or wallet much.She feels it's not a good thing to do.But i am okay with it.Don't see anything wrong in that.It's all about perception i believe.