The Christmas Scramble

Why, oh why, does the powers that rule over the world of toys make it so difficult for us parents to procure that perfect gift for our children? Those in charge somehow know exactly what toys are going to be most coveted. They release the toy in September or so, with only a limited supply so that that one item is around for a very short time when parents are  not even thinking about Christmas. Then - very clever of them - they make sure that the prized toy is simply unavailable by the middle of November, leaving a trail of frantic and frustrated parents.

This year's prize - TOOTHLESS.

I had originally intended to have Santa bring an Ant Farm for my 4 year old - Marisa. Unfortunately, the weather grew too cold for ants to travel, and I was left to search for another suitable exciting item for Santa to leave under the tree. We recently discovered How to Train Your Dragon, so it occurred to me that she would like to have a Toothless. After all, she spends a great deal of time pretending that she has an invisible dragon named Toothless. I have no doubt that this will please her, even though she has not thought to request it. Indeed, she is not even aware that such a creature exists. Neither was I until I did a nifty little Google search.

Much to my dismay, that Google search revealed that Toothless does not exist in any store. Clever toy manufacturers limited the supply for Christmas in order to drive up the demand. So - I did what most parents would do. I checked elsewhere. There's Amazon, Ebay, and multiple other locations for buying coveted items that can not be located in stores. Sadly I discovered that this little dragon was selling for exorbitant prices. I was certain that I had no chance of being the lucky soul who would have a Toothless under my tree this year. I began making alternate plans - JUST IN CASE. As I planned, I also placed a bid. I hoped that my bid would be enough, but I have a budget to maintain. I have a limit of what I am willing to spend on any stuffed animal - even for Christmas. The item I chose to bid on included extras, too, so it was more appealing. There was a small package of Squinkies - also coveted this year - and a miniature Toothless figurine. The package was alluring and promising. I dared not hope for positive results because I felt certain that some other soul would be willing to pay way more for this collection that I could manage.

This morning broke with a sigh of relief. I woke with a start and hurried to check the status of my Ebay bid. The bid ended sometime in the night. Having entered my maximum bid, I felt no need to watch the disaster as my prize was stolen from me by some other with a higher bid. Instead I ignored the bid and hoped - prayed - for the optimum outcome.

You should know that I do not normally obsess so much about buying the perfect gift for my children. They are typically so easy to please. The issue here, though, is that I had already determined the PERFECT GIFT for Marisa and had it all planned out. That ant farm was going to be so amazing. She would have her very own ants. She would be beyond thrilled. (My mother-in-law would not be so thrilled at the idea of ants spending the night in her refrigerator, but she was going to suck it up for the greater good... ) The weather, which is rarely THIS cold here, took a turn that required me to change my plans. It took me some time to come up with the next idea.... and then I found that it was going to be difficult, at best, for me to make that happen.

Well, I digress.

This morning broke with a sigh of relief. I woke with a start and hurried to check the status of my Ebay bid. Imagine my surprise and glee when I discovered that I WON MY BID!

Yes - I awoke to find an invoice awaiting payment for my wonderful little Toothless (and everything else). I am so thrilled and excited. The seller has assured me that he will make sure the package is mailed first thing Monday morning via Priority Mail, complete with a tracking number. Now I have to sit back and wait patiently for my Toothless to arrive. I am having it mailed to my mother-in-law's house since we will be there for Christmas. I am certain that she will be more accepting of a dragon in her house than those little ants.... although having ants in her refrigerator would have been so much fun.

And in January - a few short days after Christmas - I have no doubt that every store between here and said mother-in-law's house will be FLOODED with multiple stuffed Toothless dragons...because that is what the manufacturers do.

Imagination...

Have you ever listened to your children as they play whatever pretend games they enjoy playing? It is a very interesting activity to sit and listen in while they play imaginary games. I've noticed over the past few weeks that my girls are playing games that replicate their real lives. Whatever issues they might be dealing with at the time are acted out in the realm of their pretend world. Their animals have nap times, move to new homes, meet new friends, and even lose their teeth - based on whatever is going on in our real lives.

Kira loves to reenact her favorite television programs, too. Her animals have been sold in yard sales - based on Clean House. They have been in competitions to find out who is the best cook - based on Iron Chef. They play school even though my girls are home schooled. They rescue other animals. The scenarios are really quite endless.

This process of imaginary play is so important for the development of the child's mind and social skills. (Social skills? Learned through imaginary play?  --- YEP!) Children who actively engage in imaginary play are given the greatest opportunity to explore every possible role that they might experience in life. The imagination can allow them to be a teacher, be mean, be nice, and even play through all the possible outcomes of each persona they choose to imagine within themselves.

In our excessively structured world where children are expected to engage in multiple activities and spend every waking moment involved in some sort of perfectly scheduled activity, the unstructured freedom of imagination has been lost. It is time to allow children to reconnect with their imagination. Give them freedom and allow them to revel in a world that is not dictated by any predetermined rules.

Let them play!

I Need Help

I'm wandering through my day today, dealing with two very whiny children. I have no idea what has happened to turn my darling angels in to devilish monsters, but I know that something has to change - and FAST - before I completely lose my mind. (or what's left of it...)

In an attempt to figure out what to do, I revisited one of my old posts - Oh the Joy of Whiny Days... - and did a bit of reading to refresh my memory with the wonderful advice I gave so long ago. 

Reading through the list of possible causes of extreme whiny behavior, I had to stop and consider what might be going on.

I know the girls are coming off of an extended sugar high thanks to the gracious givers of Halloween candy. We came home with far more candy than anybody ever needs to eat in such a short time, but eat it they did. There has been a continual barrage of requests for "just one more piece ... PLEASE!" I've held them off as much as possible, but the candy has now dwindled to those dreaded pieces of undesired candy droppings - you know the ones... those things that NOBODY eats, but somebody out there feels the need to buy and give out. That person is probably gleefully passing out dreaded candy droppings while they lament upon the notion of begging for candy in the first place. (If I must give you candy, I'll give you something that I know you will never, ever eat! Bwa ha ha!!!)

And then there's the wiggly tooth. Actually, it would be more correct to say wiggly teeth, as Kira has four teeth that are wiggling their way out of her mouth. One of those teeth is now barely holding on to its last stronghold of rooting in the lower level of her gums. Unfortunately she gets to experience the discomfort of that lingering tooth until it finally gives up its battle to stay where it is. She refuses to let me try to get it out by brute force, so there it stays.

Then there's the fact that they both sleep stalked me all night long. Sleep stalking is the process of relocating themselves to wherever it is that I am trying to sleep. I generally lay on the sofa to sleep because it is more comfortable on my back. About half the time I fall asleep there instead of in my own bed. Last night Kira came out of her room in tears because of some bad dream. I thought this would be okay because just one little girl on the sofa with me really isn't that difficult to accommodate. Unfortunately, Marisa woke up while Kira was crying and soon followed her out to the sofa. I had one little girl curled up at my feet using my leg as her pillow - and one little girl snuggled up in my arms. We all drifted off again, but I quickly woke due to the excessive heat produced by two extra little bodies in such a small space. After I managed to extricate myself from the conglomeration of arms and legs, I moved to my own bed. This was about 3:00AM and I had not yet managed to get any decent sleep. I'm sure they didn't, either. Within a few short minutes - less than half an hour - somebody was following me with plans to infiltrate my newest location. Traitor Daddy gave her access and that was that.

So - all things considered - I think we all just need a really long nap!

Moving, Settling, and Chaos

The last few months have been filled with complete and total chaos. We moved at the beginning of September and still have not quite found our equilibrium. I find myself struggling with the day to day... and the super whiny kids... as we all try to adjust to these most recent changes.

For starters, the kids' toys have taken over and seem to be multiplying as though we had turned loose a few dozen bunnies into the house. No matter how hard we try, I can't seem to get a grip on the toy organization. We have managed to eliminate toys flooding into the entirety of the house, but the girls' room completely out of control. I'm at a loss as to what I should do, short of just throwing them all away... which has certainly crossed my mind a time or two.

We're trying to initiate and maintain a new policy for food. The food can no longer travel throughout the house. Instead, people are supposed to actually sit at the table and eat. This has been one of our most difficult challenges. Our girls have become accustomed to sitting in front of the television when they eat. Transitioning to eating at the table has been met with quite a lot of complaint. To be honest, I do not really care if they eat in front of the TV. The problem is that they rarely manage to keep the food on their plate or in their mouth. It gets scattered ... and stepped on ... or covered up with something and forgotten ... the list could go on. So the new rule has more to do with keeping the carpet clean than actually being concerned about their television habits.

One good thing is that Daddy gets to come home for lunch most days. With all the blessings that this brings, there is also a bit of frustration that goes along with it, too. Some days the girls really hate to let him leave when it's time to go back to work. Other days he doesn't get to come home because he's busy in court and then the girls are sad. And then some days they don't even notice...

Kira is starting to learn the calendar based on "school days" or "not school days." As you know, we home school so "school days" had no meaning to us - until Tyler. Yes - Tyler. He has completely changed the way our days operate. Tyler is 7 years old and lives a couple of doors down. He and Kira spend their afternoons gleefully playing in the trees and bushes around our apartment building. In fact, Kira has informed me that she will be marrying Tyler when she is all grown up --- IF that's okay with him.

My days used to start with the inevitable "I'm hungry!" Now they start with the inevitable "Is today a school day mom?" Followed by, "What time will Tyler be home from school?"

Yes, we've settled into a bit of chaos all because we decided to move. Sigh...

Competition

I just wanted to take a moment to share a bit of an observation...

I have heard a lot over the past years about how competition is not good for young children and their fragile self esteem. I have heard a lot about how schools are doing more to protect children from feeling as though they are competing against each other academically. I have even heard of sporting events that take place without the disadvantage of score keeping because the kids might be upset if they lost a game... (as if they can't keep score on their own).

I can't help but be amused by all this avoidance of competition when I see just how many competitive TV Shows there are these days.

 -- Chopped
 -- Iron Chef
 -- Dancing with the Stars
 -- Cupcake Wars

The list could go on and on and on...

It seems that television has overcompensated for the lack of competition in the school setting.

Back In Time

One of the most treasured activities for children is talking about themselves. Kids love to hear stories of their birth, stories of their big moments, anything about themselves, really. Sometimes telling those same old stories can get a bit boring to us parents. As an alternative, try telling a few stories about yourself. You might be surprised at how much your child will enjoy learning about your life as a child.

Some things to consider discussing:

Your favorite activities when you were little, especially when you were the age that your child is now.
Your favorite foods when you were little.
Your favorite toys...
Your favorite games...
Your best friends....
Your school memories...
Your most embarrassing moments...
Your happiest moments...
The things you didn't like about being that particular age...

The list could go on and on, but I think you probably get the idea. Take some time tonight to share yourself with your children.

The Art of Free Play

In today's world of hectic schedules and over booked activities, many children have lost the pleasure of unstructured free time. There is so much pressure to expose our kids to all possible avenues of interest that we, as parents, often forget to just step back and let our children be children. Unfortunately, the scheduled child loses something that is most important to their life. When we plan each detail of our child's life, we take away their option to find ways to entertain themselves. Unstructured time allows a child the opportunity to use his own imagination to fill the minutes. Without that time, he does not learn to foster that side of himself which will allow him to grow up with the ability to generate ideas and think freely.

Knowing that we need to leave our kids alone in order to have some free time does not mean that we are well trained in the art of doing this. Our kids come to us lamenting that they are bored or that there is nothing to do. It is all too easy to fill that void for them and provide them with something to occupy their time. By doing this, though, we often cause more harm than good. A child needs to know how to find a way to alleviate boredom. Kids need to be able to find new ways to entertain themselves - create new games with existing toys - make the world better and different than what we might expect. They can never learn these most important skills if parents are always stepping in to rescue them from their boredom.

Here are a few ideas for nourishing your child's imagination and creativity.

1) Keep an art box filled with a selection of art supplies. This box should include the usual art content, along with some things that might not be considered "art supplies." Throw in some bottle caps. Add a few twigs from outside. Include a few empty cereal boxes. If you are throwing something away, stop and consider what use it might be before you toss it. Many things that we have no use for can become unique and useful objects for creative endeavors.

2) Let your kids play with their toys in whatever way they choose. Resist the urge to dictate that toys be used in the way they were intended. In my house, a headband and a dog leash becomes a lasso that the girls use to catch their ponies. The large collection of ponies are often used to play school, vet, or other real life games. I have learned to distinguish when the ponies are crying and calling for their mother in order to avoid interrupting the girls during their most important games.

3) Give your kids unusual items to play with from time to time. A box of nuts and bolts can be an interesting and educational toy for young children. A set of padlocks with keys can also provide some unexpected fun. Think outside of the parenting box to find ways that your kids can use their imagination to entertain themselves.

4) Most important - resist the urge to participate. It is difficult for us adults to see the way our children see. When we get involved in whatever they are playing, we often direct the play without really meaning to do so. Let them play without you. That time of alone play is just as important for building independence as it is for exercising their imagination.