When All Else Fails

After a very long day of whiny children begging for food in an almost constant chant, even the strongest will whither with the weight of frustration.

I asked Kira what she wanted for dinner tonight and her reply was eggs. OK! I can do this. Easy!

It takes me about a half an hour to clear the kitchen of small predators so that I can even begin to try cooking. It's impossible to cook with two small people under my feet.

After the monsters realized that I had no intention of cooking until they were out of the room, they disappeared. So I take out the eggs, the milk, the butter and the pan. I get a bowl and begin cracking eggs to prepare for the magic scramble that makes my eggs so soft and fluffy.

Into the room other room filled with people I ask this simple question. You see, Angel and her husband are visiting tonight...

"Who wants eggs?"

My question was met with a couple of "I do!"s and one little voice carried by two little feet that came running into the kitchen. --- Remember my earlier dictation that the kitchen was to be cleared, right?

So here comes Kira, right up behind me while I'm cracking these eggs.

She starts spinning in circles saying "ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!"

In my defense, I had been hearing her voice all day long whining incessantly for this or that. She's been perpetually hungry every five minutes and continually declaring that she does not want whatever food I have supplied to appease her endless appetite.

Now - back to my story.

She's spinning and bouncing directly behind me, loudly exclaiming her desire for an egg.

Being the wonderful mother that I am, I gave her one.

Yessirree! Right on the top of the head. I spun around with an egg in my hand. Cracked it on the top her head and gave her the ooey gooey egg treatment followed by insane amounts of uncontrollable laughter (and a bit of crying on her part).

My husband, bearing witness to the entire exchange, stared at me with complete astonishment.

Kira, shocked into a bit of silence, was quite upset with this new development. She was shirtless when this all took place so her entire back and head was covered with sticky raw egg.

The cats were quite thrilled at the prospect of a raw egg splattered on the floor.

And I felt better! I was literally doubled over in laughter.

Now, before you decide that I'm the worst mother in the entire universe, I did run her a bath right away and get her cleaned up. And I cleaned up the messy, sticky egg on the floor.

I didn't apologize, though. What I did was tell her that if she continued to pester me for things when it was obvious that I was trying to get them for her that it was entirely possible that she would get them before they were actually ready.

About a half an hour later she asked me for some juice...