By request, I shall delve into the world of parenting the older kids.
From this site, I found the following interesting information.
(Be sure to read both lists. It is not a misprint.)
Helpful Tips for Parenting Teenagers
The teenage years offer many stresses for the family system. Adolescents often challenge the rules and boundaries of the family system while they are engaged in seeking their own identities. At this same time, parents have their own issues such as confronting their own mortality in the form of a mid-life crisis and possibly dealing with their own aging parents. This creates a turbulent time for a parent in balancing the adult issues with the developmental crises of their adolescent children. The following are some key points to keep in mind as you work through this time.
What To do:
1.Provide and maintain clear boundaries and limits.
Use discussion and negotiation rather than arguments.
Realize some conflict is unavoidable.
Be flexible with rules and roles.
2. Exemplify the attributes you wish your adolescent to emulate.
Behavior must be consistent with words
3. Provide positive reinforcement on a daily basis for something, even if seemingly insignificant
4. Spend time with your adolescent daily.
5. Educate yourself about issues facing adolescents today.
Read books, articles
Communicate with professionals as needed
6. Recognize warning signs of problematic behavior.
Alcohol Drugs
Depression
Eating Disorders
Gang Involvement
Recognizing:
Eating Disorders
Refusal to eat enough to maintain body weight.
Fear of becoming fat, even when clearly underweight.
Abnormal body image.
Absence of menstruation in young women for a period of 3 consecutive months.
Compulsive behavior with regards to exercise.
Chemical Dependency
Making new friends and abandoning old ones. Poor grades - decreasing - suspensions
Behavior problems (i.e. lying, running away)
Isolation from family members.
Gang Activity
Changes in clothing and Jewelry.
Changes in Behavior.
Changes in Friends.
Changes in finances.
Depression
Change in mood, behavior.
Change in eating.
Change in sleeping.
Change in academic performance.
Change in grooming.
Always provide and maintain open lines of communication!
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Now for Mom's version.
Helpful Tips for Parenting Teenagers
The teenage years offer many stresses for the family system. Adolescents often challenge the rules and boundaries of the family system while they are engaged in seeking their own identities. At this same time, parents have their own issues such as confronting their own mortality in the form of a mid-life crisis and possibly dealing with their own aging parents. This creates a turbulent time for a parent in balancing the adult issues with the developmental crises of their adolescent children. The following are some key points to keep in mind as you work through this time.
What To do:
1.Provide and maintain clear boundaries and limits.
Use discussion and negotiation rather than arguments.
Realize some conflict is unavoidable.
Be flexible with rules and roles.
2. Exemplify the attributes you wish your adolescent to emulate.
Behavior must be consistent with words.
Definitely! I'm going to act JUST LIKE YOU! After all, I love and adore everything you do. (**insert eye rolls here**)
3. Provide positive reinforcement on a daily basis for something, even if seemingly insignificant.
Praise me! Praise me! Praise me! For I am wonderful and amazing. The world does revolve around me. Just ask me...
4. Spend time with your adolescent daily.
You want me to spend TIME with YOU! Are YOU kidding ME. Well, okay, but only if we stay home and none of my friends see us together and you never tell a soul and DON'T expect me to ENJOY it.
5. Educate yourself about issues facing adolescents today.
Read books, articles and other resources.
Communicate with professionals as needed.
Check out Mom's Site daily.
Mom. Stop trying to behave like my friends. It's just gross when you dress like us, sing like us, dance like us, play like us, etc. etc. etc.
6. Recognize warning signs of problematic behavior.
Alcohol Drugs
Depression
Eating Disorders
Gang Involvement
Recognizing: **Okay, I'm only going to comment on a couple of these because I feel that most of this information is very serious and should not be taken lightly. There are some concepts here, though, that bear consideration.
Eating Disorders
Refusal to eat enough to maintain body weight.
Fear of becoming fat, even when clearly underweight.
Abnormal body image.
Absence of menstruation in young women for a period of 3 consecutive months.
Compulsive behavior with regards to exercise.
Chemical Dependency
Making new friends and abandoning old ones. Poor grades - decreasing - suspensions
Behavior problems (i.e. lying, running away)
Isolation from family members.
Gang Activity
Changes in clothing and Jewelry. What I wore yesterday just won't do for today. It's not in style anymore. It's just not good enough.
Changes in Behavior. MOOD SWINGS!!!
Changes in Friends. Can you say D-R-A-M-A. (and gossip and backbiting and did we mention mood swings?)
Changes in finances. This age range has finances.... Yeah - Mom, I need money. Mom, I need more money. Mom ---- can I PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEE have some money...
Depression
Change in mood, behavior. MOOD SWINGS
Change in eating. MOOD SWINGS
Change in sleeping. UM - MOOD SWINGS
Change in academic performance. THE WORK IS HARDER, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
Change in grooming. DID WE MENTION THE WHOLE HORMONAL MOOD SWINGS THING?
Always provide and maintain open lines of communication! Yelling does not count as communicating.
3 comments:
I like the mom version of this list.
I survived the mood swing years
It is nice to see your children grow. Especially when they get out of those Teen years.
Great list of smart parenting tips! Thanks for sharing.
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