Moving, Settling, and Chaos

The last few months have been filled with complete and total chaos. We moved at the beginning of September and still have not quite found our equilibrium. I find myself struggling with the day to day... and the super whiny kids... as we all try to adjust to these most recent changes.

For starters, the kids' toys have taken over and seem to be multiplying as though we had turned loose a few dozen bunnies into the house. No matter how hard we try, I can't seem to get a grip on the toy organization. We have managed to eliminate toys flooding into the entirety of the house, but the girls' room completely out of control. I'm at a loss as to what I should do, short of just throwing them all away... which has certainly crossed my mind a time or two.

We're trying to initiate and maintain a new policy for food. The food can no longer travel throughout the house. Instead, people are supposed to actually sit at the table and eat. This has been one of our most difficult challenges. Our girls have become accustomed to sitting in front of the television when they eat. Transitioning to eating at the table has been met with quite a lot of complaint. To be honest, I do not really care if they eat in front of the TV. The problem is that they rarely manage to keep the food on their plate or in their mouth. It gets scattered ... and stepped on ... or covered up with something and forgotten ... the list could go on. So the new rule has more to do with keeping the carpet clean than actually being concerned about their television habits.

One good thing is that Daddy gets to come home for lunch most days. With all the blessings that this brings, there is also a bit of frustration that goes along with it, too. Some days the girls really hate to let him leave when it's time to go back to work. Other days he doesn't get to come home because he's busy in court and then the girls are sad. And then some days they don't even notice...

Kira is starting to learn the calendar based on "school days" or "not school days." As you know, we home school so "school days" had no meaning to us - until Tyler. Yes - Tyler. He has completely changed the way our days operate. Tyler is 7 years old and lives a couple of doors down. He and Kira spend their afternoons gleefully playing in the trees and bushes around our apartment building. In fact, Kira has informed me that she will be marrying Tyler when she is all grown up --- IF that's okay with him.

My days used to start with the inevitable "I'm hungry!" Now they start with the inevitable "Is today a school day mom?" Followed by, "What time will Tyler be home from school?"

Yes, we've settled into a bit of chaos all because we decided to move. Sigh...

Competition

I just wanted to take a moment to share a bit of an observation...

I have heard a lot over the past years about how competition is not good for young children and their fragile self esteem. I have heard a lot about how schools are doing more to protect children from feeling as though they are competing against each other academically. I have even heard of sporting events that take place without the disadvantage of score keeping because the kids might be upset if they lost a game... (as if they can't keep score on their own).

I can't help but be amused by all this avoidance of competition when I see just how many competitive TV Shows there are these days.

 -- Chopped
 -- Iron Chef
 -- Dancing with the Stars
 -- Cupcake Wars

The list could go on and on and on...

It seems that television has overcompensated for the lack of competition in the school setting.

Back In Time

One of the most treasured activities for children is talking about themselves. Kids love to hear stories of their birth, stories of their big moments, anything about themselves, really. Sometimes telling those same old stories can get a bit boring to us parents. As an alternative, try telling a few stories about yourself. You might be surprised at how much your child will enjoy learning about your life as a child.

Some things to consider discussing:

Your favorite activities when you were little, especially when you were the age that your child is now.
Your favorite foods when you were little.
Your favorite toys...
Your favorite games...
Your best friends....
Your school memories...
Your most embarrassing moments...
Your happiest moments...
The things you didn't like about being that particular age...

The list could go on and on, but I think you probably get the idea. Take some time tonight to share yourself with your children.

The Art of Free Play

In today's world of hectic schedules and over booked activities, many children have lost the pleasure of unstructured free time. There is so much pressure to expose our kids to all possible avenues of interest that we, as parents, often forget to just step back and let our children be children. Unfortunately, the scheduled child loses something that is most important to their life. When we plan each detail of our child's life, we take away their option to find ways to entertain themselves. Unstructured time allows a child the opportunity to use his own imagination to fill the minutes. Without that time, he does not learn to foster that side of himself which will allow him to grow up with the ability to generate ideas and think freely.

Knowing that we need to leave our kids alone in order to have some free time does not mean that we are well trained in the art of doing this. Our kids come to us lamenting that they are bored or that there is nothing to do. It is all too easy to fill that void for them and provide them with something to occupy their time. By doing this, though, we often cause more harm than good. A child needs to know how to find a way to alleviate boredom. Kids need to be able to find new ways to entertain themselves - create new games with existing toys - make the world better and different than what we might expect. They can never learn these most important skills if parents are always stepping in to rescue them from their boredom.

Here are a few ideas for nourishing your child's imagination and creativity.

1) Keep an art box filled with a selection of art supplies. This box should include the usual art content, along with some things that might not be considered "art supplies." Throw in some bottle caps. Add a few twigs from outside. Include a few empty cereal boxes. If you are throwing something away, stop and consider what use it might be before you toss it. Many things that we have no use for can become unique and useful objects for creative endeavors.

2) Let your kids play with their toys in whatever way they choose. Resist the urge to dictate that toys be used in the way they were intended. In my house, a headband and a dog leash becomes a lasso that the girls use to catch their ponies. The large collection of ponies are often used to play school, vet, or other real life games. I have learned to distinguish when the ponies are crying and calling for their mother in order to avoid interrupting the girls during their most important games.

3) Give your kids unusual items to play with from time to time. A box of nuts and bolts can be an interesting and educational toy for young children. A set of padlocks with keys can also provide some unexpected fun. Think outside of the parenting box to find ways that your kids can use their imagination to entertain themselves.

4) Most important - resist the urge to participate. It is difficult for us adults to see the way our children see. When we get involved in whatever they are playing, we often direct the play without really meaning to do so. Let them play without you. That time of alone play is just as important for building independence as it is for exercising their imagination.

Rite Aid Brand Medicine

I stopped at my local Rite Aid on Wednesday to buy some Childrens Tylenol for Marisa because she was running a fever and I wasn't 100% certain that I had any Tylenol at home. Rite Aid happens to be within a mile of my house and is relatively easy to get in and out compared to other places around here, so I chose the path of least resistance even though I knew the prices would be slightly higher.

On the shelf was a lovely box of Rite Aid Brand childrens acetaminophen for about $3.00 less than the Tylenol Brand. Being a bit frugal these days, I decided to try the store brand in lieu of buying the more expensive brand name product.

Normally I would be able to say that the store brand was just as good as the more expensive name brand product and just leave it at that. Unfortunately, I was highly disappointed in the Rite Aid brand for a couple of reasons.

First, when I tried to remove the medicine from the little foil backed capsule, the tablets crumbled into fine powdery dust. Now I'm no expert when it comes to pharmaceuticals, but it seems a tiny bit difficult to accurately measure dosage when the pill that you are supposed to be giving your child to chew upon has now crumbled into powdery dust - causing a fine layer of pink snow to envelop your surroundings. Indeed, I went through about 3 or 4 of the tablets before I managed to open one without turning it into dusty snow. By this time I was not only incredibly irate, I was also beginning to resemble some sort of bubble gum flavored SnowMom.

I happened to be in my car and on my way home when all this took place, so I called my husband and asked him to meet me at Rite Aid so he could sit with the girls while I ran inside for a bit. (Never, ever leave your kids unattended in the car...)

So I go into the Rite Aid and explain my situation to the manager. I did not have the receipt, so she said that she could only do a return on store credit. This really isn't a big issue for me because we generally stop at Rite Aid at least once a month so the money will simply go towards something else at a later time. She informed me that the product would ring up at the current price, but I was okay with that because it has only been two days since I made my purchase. Saturday tends to be the day when prices change, so I expected to receive a full refund without issue.

When she first rang up the product in the register, the price shown was $4.99 - which is what I actually paid for the box of pills. Imagine my surprise when she only refunded me $1.99 instead of the full amount. When I questioned her, she said they were probably on sale at a 'buy 1 get 1' price, resulting in the lower amount.

Now let me say again... I'm no expert, but... It seems to me that something isn't quite right here. Why did the box ring up initially at the higher amount and then lower itself when she pushed the refund button? Sigh... I have to say, I just wasn't in the mood for arguing so I took the card and left. I did ask her if she would adjust the refund amount if I found the receipt when I came home. She balked, but agreed that it would be reasonable if I returned later today with the receipt. Unfortunately for me, I actually threw that piece of paper away.

I can guarantee, though, that I will not be purchasing anymore Rite Aid brand products in the future. This experience was enough to convince me that the store brand isn't worth the hassle.

Bee Stings Hurt

It has been over 20 years since I was last stung by a bee. Twenty years, that is, until TODAY...

Today, while Marisa and I were viewing a potential apartment, we apparently disturbed the current residents living under the deck. When we first walked out on the deck there was nothing at all to indicate that we were in danger. Within mere seconds, however, we were swarmed by a cloud of yellow jackets. It took me some time to realize just what was happening, and by the time I realized we were under attack it was too late.

Marisa screamed about the same time I realized that the swarm was a mass of angry yellow jackets. I grabbed her and ran back inside, shutting the door behind me. Even with my quick reaction, we both managed to be stung twice each. The leasing agent was also stung twice.

We were also followed by a few of those bees, but managed somehow to avoid any more stings. We quickly vacated the premises and sent the maintenance crew down to the apartment to seek revenge upon the masses.

In honor of my new found appreciation for the discomfort of bee stings, I would like to provide you with a bit of advice on how to deal with such a situation.

First, vacate the premises if you find yourself amidst an unhappy gang of bees. Standing there in awe and wondering where they are all coming from is never a good idea.

Second, check your clothes before checking those stings. Make sure there are no stragglers waiting in ambush. (I found one attached to the hem of my pants leg busily attacking my clothing. Lucky for me, the hem was too thick for the bee to sting me through the fabric.) Small children should be thoroughly stripped to ensure that there are no bees hiding in the folds of their clothes.

After you are certain that the attackers are no longer able to wreak havoc upon you or you child, check the stings for stingers. Removing those stingers is an important first step in treating bee stings because as long as the stinger is in the skin, venom is still being released. Applying ice to the sting will help alleviate some of the swelling and discomfort, as will a dose of Tylenol and Benadryl. If your child is truly distraught - and most will be - applying liberal amounts of chocolate will generally help the child calm down. (Marisa got Jolly Ranchers to help distract her from the situation, but those are not something I would recommend for just any child as they could pose a choking hazard.)

It is important to watch your child closely because many people are allergic to bee stings and the only way to find out if you happen to have that allergy is by being stung. If your child exhibits any extreme reactions, such as difficulty breathing or excessive swelling, then you will need to immediately contact your local rescue units. (Dial 911 here in The States...)

After you manage to take care of your child, then you can stop and deal with your own issues (unless you happen to be allergic to bees, in which case you might need to care for yourself first to ensure the safety of you and your child). The same techniques that are helpful for your child can also be used to alleviate your own discomfort.

Just remember that while those bees may be somewhat aggressive, they are only doing what comes natural to them in order to protect their homes. Also keep in mind that for each bee that managed to get its little stinger into your skin, there is now a DEAD BEE. The use of their stinger is an automatic death sentence to the offending bee because when the bee moves away from you, it leaves the stinger (and a few vital parts of its body) behind.

Bwa ha ha....

Get the RED towel...

THIS IS COPIED FROM DEAR ABBY. I THINK IT'S SUCH A NEAT IDEA THAT I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH EVERYBODY. BUT I ALSO WANT TO BE SURE THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS WHERE IT CAME FROM ---- AVOID THOSE COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENTS....


DEAR ABBY: My 4-year-old nephew recently cut his finger. When the story was being told by my sister, she mentioned telling her daughter to get out one of the red towels. "Red towel?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "I have four of them that I use only when the kids cut themselves. That way they don't see the blood, and the tears aren't as bad." I thought that was brilliant! -- KURT N., MILWAUKEE



DEAR KURT: It certainly shows preplanning. And it makes sense to me, because a small child who has suffered a minor injury often cries more out of fear than pain.