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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sibling Sunday

Today is Marisa's birthday party. Today she will get gifts and cake and tons of attention.

I have read many articles and tips about dealing with birthdays and the non-birthday sibling. Some people suggest buying a small gift for the non-birthday kid(s) in order to help them feel like they are not being left out. Others say that children need to learn that birthdays are special days for the birthday kid. I don't really know how I feel about birthdays and siblings.

Kira, of course, has been talking about her birthday. She'll turn 4 in September and since Marisa is busy having this birthday now, Kira wanted to talk about her next birthday. So that's what we do.

We did take Marisa out to the Disney Store and bought her a rocket. While we were there, Kira also got a puppy. It wasn't so much a birthday bribe, as an animal that Kira wanted. Today, Kira will get cake and ice cream, but no presents.

However you decide to deal with the birthday drama, be consistent. If you choose to buy gifts for the non-birthday kid, then on their birthday be sure to buy gifts for the other child. Don't do it like my grandmother did. On my older siblings birthdays, I got a present from my Grandmother. On my birthday, they did not get anything. Her reasoning for this was that I was several years younger than they were, so they were old enough to understand. Also, my brothers and sister all had their birthdays three days apart - October 24th and October 27th. Everybody was getting gifts except for me. The older kids resented that she never bought them presents on my birthday even though they were technically old enough to know better. So whatever method you use to address birthdays, use that method with all of your kids.